If we pay attention, I think we’re given opportunities to look inside ourselves. Creativity is an example. I’ve been struggling with this current story. Studying myself, I wonder if it’s because I’m composing on the computer instead of a spiral, which has always been my first step. Maybe it’s because I’m too far removed from this series, as I published book 1 last year. Perhaps I’m writing for the wrong reasons, or I’ve lost my “why,” the reason I create. Staring into my artistic depths, I’m seeing what is reflected back. Now I need to figure out what to do about it.
Though I’m still hovering in this space of my agenda clear of administrative tasks but not in the flow to write fiction, I’m finding other things to fill my time. I don’t think they’re a waste, but rather a side dish to the space. The hardest part is giving myself a bit of time and grace to be here instead of driving myself to be productive. I wouldn’t have any problem in the past being productive. But like all things, I guess I’ve changed. Maybe it’s age. Maybe I’m relying too much on past experience instead of embracing how things are now. Or perhaps other decisions are taking up some of this space in my mind and heart and I’m finding it hard to prioritize, or to just let everything be.
The work is progressing, but it’s slow. At least for my WIP’s. I’m eagerly awaiting news about my first audiobook. I’m thinking what to do with my Patreon account, how to create the tiers and what I can give subscribers. Maybe if I let the surface settle, I’ll find what I’m looking for. How do you get back to the flow when life is full?