This week I’ve been thinking about moments. I’m not sure if it’s the season of life I’m in, the changing of seasons where I live, or if my paid work is catching up to me. I find myself falling further and further behind on my to-do list. I wouldn’t call it “brain fog” but focusing on the present has been challenging. I’ve relied on routines for a long time to help me complete my tasks and limit myself from forgetting things. I wonder if my routine needs to change.
I haven’t been able to do the virtual write-ins with the group. I miss their smiling faces and hearing tidbits about their lives and their writing. It took a week for me to get around to ordering author copies of my newest math book. Then I discovered there was an error in the upload process. It went through the second time, and now copies are on their way. I promised a copy of the book to the one who sparked the inspiration for it. My kanban board is the same as it was 3 months ago. I’ve given up on keeping track of the habits I chose at the beginning of the year. Maybe that’s just not a priority for me.
I miss writing fiction. I still have those same 5 flash fiction stories I want to include in MV2. I’m now two months behind in the story collection and getting stories to my illustrator. My graphics person completed 2 pieces, but I’m far away from where they’ll go in the next math book. I’m behind on my assignments for my class for recertification. Despite the fog and the disconnect from the present…
I have hope. I know what to do to complete the class. I know I can publish MV2 now, if I wanted to. I can do the write-ins, I just need to change my priorities and be more direct in my actions. Even if I miss the write-ins, I can open my spiral notebook and take 15 minutes to scribble out part of a story. Awareness is always the first step. That I have. Next is to focus. What is happening in this moment? What am I feeling? What information are my senses receiving? If I anchor myself in the moment, perhaps they won’t slip away unnoticed. If I tweak my routines, my priorities, be aware of how that changes my moments, then I won’t feel like a balloon without a string. What do you do when you feel disconnected?
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