Years ago, I had several magazine subscriptions. I moved from a second-floor apartment to a second-floor condo. And hauled all that paper down and up stairs. When I moved out of the condo, I didn’t take all those magazines with me. I carried them to the recycle bin at the complex. Why did I keep them so long that I moved them and continued to store them for three years? Fear of missing out on the silver bullet I was convinced was on the pages.
I’ve now accepted that there is no silver bullet for anything. Not for training a horse. Not for working with students. Not for writing and marketing books. Since then, I’ve still searched, not for a silver bullet, but for a guru or a system or a tactic that would make “life” easier. In all parts of my life, at one point or another, I’ve wanted to maximize my capacity. They say with age comes wisdom. I think, sometimes, that wisdom is hard won.
I was under a deadline to move, so had to get rid of those magazines. For a while, I wondered what nugget of information I had let slip through my fingers. I was afraid I was missing out on something I needed to know. Fast forward twenty years, and now when I skip on something, I don’t give it another thought.
In clearing out my inbox, I discovered a few free “trainings” I’d kept from six months ago were no longer available. I deleted the emails. No FOMO. What I felt instead was a relief. Less things to do or listen to and try to apply if I thought they were useful. And if I didn’t apply them for myriad reasons, then some uncomfortable feelings would arise about time wasted in listening/watching, taking notes, typing/printing/filing those notes… and the likelihood that I wouldn’t read those notes or think about that webinar again.
So maybe it’s age. Or that hard won wisdom. Or a learned experience. But on the other side of FOMO is peace. At least for me. Instead of expanding my information input, I’ve become more discerning in what works for me and my current life circumstances. It’s nice not to rush and stress and push for something that doesn’t exist (or a strategy or tactic that doesn’t align with my personality). What lies ahead on this path, I’m not sure. But I know that FOMO won’t be waiting for me. Not related to horses or teaching or publishing. I’m enjoying this place of acceptance, and the space I’ve found in letting go of the fear that I’ve missed something important.
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