I’m referring to a specific project, not writing in general. However, if a decision isn’t made, I can see where the lack of enthusiasm for one project can bleed over to another… and maybe if nothing is done to change direction, it becomes a nonproductive habit. In working on the blog book this week, I decided I have two options: push through and publish it or scrap it. Never before, in all of my previously published fifty titles, has “scrap it” been something I considered.
Not wanting to delete the copy of the files I’m working with (I know I have another copy… somewhere), I highlighted the posts as I copy/pasted from one doc to another to make it easier to find the posts not yet used. I made some edits, including deleting sentences that boxed in the post to a specific time (during COVID) and changed what made it sound like a blog post. I remember doing this with my creativity blog when I wrote and published Creative Play: A Guide for the Artistic Path. I also remembering my vow to not take my blogs and turn them into another book. And yet, here I am…
Since most of the blog titles don’t fit with what remains of the post, I marked the beginning of each with a hyphen (or two, or three, etc.) or other symbol to delineate a change in subject matter. I’m about halfway done. I’ve grouped most of the posts into “sections” like creativity in the classroom, supporting students, and online learning. Those may end up being chapter titles. I’m aware of the hardest part of piecing together a project like this: making the different topics flow into a cohesive whole. Perhaps this is one reason why I write my fiction linearly, from beginning to end.
I started messing around with this in January. It’s now the middle of May. I told myself I could put this project together in a month. After all, most of it was already written. I usually know why I procrastinate. Writing can be fun, exciting, cathartic… it’s also hard. In my fiction, I hit that “hard” milestone about three-fourths of the way through. It’s a time when all the plot strings are dangling, and I need to start tying them up. It’s also when I realize how the story will end and where characters need to be for that to happen.
When I pulled out the file folder yesterday, I thought, “I don’t know if I want to do this.” I pushed through, organizing, editing, highlighting. A lack of excitement for the project feels like mud caked to my shoes as I slog through the pages. Recognizing that the passion for this writing idea has disappeared, I’m asking myself to honestly decide: push through or set it aside.
I’m going to do an experiment. I’ve started book three in the Waldman Investigations series. a while back It’s Eve and Chase’s story. Over the next few days, I’ll sit with my pen and notebook and see how the flow of fiction goes. If the movie plays in my head and the passion returns, then I have my answer. If it doesn’t, then I’ll need to triage a bigger issue.
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